Excerpts

Things that I might want to remember from the last month:

My therapist giving me a high five.

Jumping up and down with Austin, Heidi, and Strider when the idea of having a place together became real.

Finding my common thread nugget light passion. Feeling like myself again AND feeling myself change. Feeling like I’m pretty coo.

California hills and hills and hills and trees and ocean.

Santa Cruz. West cliff. The way the kelp gives texture to the most precious bit of coast. How calm it makes me feel.

Whiskerman. The first and second times. Understanding headbanging. Rachel ever the best partner-in-crime.

Butterscotch. What a Wonderful World in the light rain just a little bit sparkly. A too-big, primary color poof jacket, overalls, and converse. Learning to discern.

Closeness.

Openness (myself, to others).

Independence and fucking strength goddammnit! (and indignance, apparently).

THERAPY. Nuggets every week. Should have listed that first. Inward ambition. Feeling feelings fully. Treating myself with tenderness. Making space. Checking in. Love. A felt sense of the right kind of love.

Flowers!!!!!!!!!!! Hummingbirds. Redwoods. Fog.

Floats. Pineapples. Pies. Hippie pool parties with fantastic djs. Coffee shops and beer gardens in nurseries. Long, really good conversations. Octopus literary salon. Silly alligator clip banter. Ideas about truth and objectivity and science and access and consensus. Data!?

Knowing what it feels like to really like someone. Twice. Moving on successfully. Once...so far.

A new house!!

Ever stepping forward. It’s not so bad.